Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Tryna Catch Me Ridin Dirty

I have come to the conclusion that small towns need more crime.
Me and the Hubs drove to Tahoe this past weekend and on our way home got pulled over 
not once, not twice, but 
mutha-effin times! 
Oh... and did I mention that it was three times in ONE hour?!?!?!
Yes my friends... I WISH I was exaggerating! 

The first time was in Mono County 
we were pulled over for 
"The crime of the century!"
as the officer put it
One of our rear tail lights was out.
Ah Oh!
Cuff me!! 

Anyway the officer was the 2nd nicest out of all 3 that pulled us over 
He thought he was HALARIOUS for joking that we had pot stashed in Pat's sunglasses bag which he reffered to as a 
"Guatamalen Bag"
It's a Pendelton pattern.... I guess that could look Guatemalen to some :)
And then he did us a REAL favor and let us go with a fix it ticket
not for the tail light however 
but for having the car registered in Nevada 
What a Gem ;)

The second time was in Bishop County 
also for the tail light. 
He was the meanest to pull us over.
He pulled us over and we explained we were driving back to San Diego and would get it fixed as soon as we got back. 
Carlita looked high as a kite (she's obviously gotten into Pat's "Guatamalan" bag!) so he wanted to run our plates anyway
and came back with the lovely news that
Pat's license was suspended! 
For Heavens sake! 
What's a wife gotta do to get a Husband with a Class C around these parts!! 
I wasn't even mad... I was SHOCKED
Pat's license was literally JUST suspended 
He had just got it UNsuspended a month or so ago! 
SO... naturally we both thought he was safer than salsa on the street but apparently he's actually a...
convicted fellon?
AND.... on top of just UN suspending his license he also requested a driving record the week before we left of all his traffic violations sense he was 18 to give to his Law School so he can take the Bar!!! 
And that little ticky wasn't on there! 
It was hiding :)
It wanted to make its debut at just the right time
oh, and it did!  

So then, I... little old me with all my issues 

*my mind doesn't work past 10*
*I can't see the streets in the dark*
*I'm blind*
*Still drunk from yesterday*
*Fear of driving in unfamiliar places*

Had to drive us home 
7 more hours 
we got home at 3 a.m.
But not before getting pulled over ONE last time 
just for good measure! 

The third time was 10 min outside of Bishop 
He was the nicest of all 3 
Pulled us over because of that DAMN tail light!!! 
Then realized we were the same people he had been "radioded" about earlier....
At that moment it dawned on me...
he was WARNED about us! 
Us, sketchy folk with our druggy dog!
I showed him my left boob and he let us go ;)
Pat did ;)

So the 7 hours of me behind the wheel were probably some of the most dangerous hours of our ENTIRE lives 
I was fussy, tired, and blinder than a bat. 
But OBVIOUSLY that was much safer than Pat, (the prepared to drive convicted felon) driving...right?

The cherry on top was that I had a paper due the next day
I procrastinated the entire weekend and saved our 10 hour jaunt to read 7 weeks of assigned reading and bang out a paper! 
So Pat, being the sweet convicted Felon he was read to me while I drove 
even though it makes him carsick :)
He's definitely my favorite convicted felon. 

Photo credit:

1 comment:

  1. OH MY GOSH! This is awful but totally a story for the stage. Geeez!!