Red Lipped Ladies XXX

Last weekend I branched out. 

I bought something that I have been lusting after and coveting for months but felt was just too cool for me.

 RED LIPSTICK! 

All the cool girls are wearing it... sporting it all over the city, to the grocery store, to The Target, to Starbucks, while they're out walking their dogs! 

It seems that no where is above red lipstick! 

Wearing red lipstick automatically gets you brownie points amongst allll the trendy bitches; it's like an unspoken language... they think to themselves..."Oh... she's wearing red lipstick, girl knows whats up." 

The Hubs once told me that men who wear vests share this unspoken language of cool also. We were in a parking lot together and a man walked by wearing a vest, Pat also had a vest on that day and after the man past us Pat leaned in toward me and said "Did you see that?" I had no idea what he was talking about but the boy loves to gossip so I figured he saw an obese person or something along those lines. (He can be such a hag ;)) 

 Pat said "That guy was wearing a vest and we gave each other a nod, men in vests have an unspoken bond."

 Ohhhhhhh, that's right.... I think I read that somewhere once (?) 

At this point I was not surprised... after The Daily Bagel revelation I'm ready for ANY and ALL of his curveballs! Start pitching Patty!! This little Shiksa is just getting warmed up ;)

ANYWAY....

It was the other day when I was wearing my red lipstick that I came to the realization that Pat was onto something with this whole "unspoken bond" thing! Red Lipped ladies share this bond!! We "get" each other! Or... at least I'd like to think that, because it makes me feel cool! 

I wore mine to church last Sunday and my friend told me that I looked "Womanly" 

Which was a HUGE complement to someone like myself that looks 13! 

But fo real peeps, I felt like EVERYONE was staring at my lips! 

People were intimidated.... I could just tell...my lips were TAUNTING them

I told them to stop, but they took on a life of their own! 

The tithing bucket skipped me because people were too intimidated to ask me for $$$

People avoided eye contact with me at greeting time because my lips were mocking them!

A girl glared back at me from several rows ahead... probably because my red lips were reflecting off the crisp white pages of her Bible! 

In other words....

Shit got Cray!! 

But.

I am a little upset with myself because I haven't worn it sense! I keep finding excuses... I can't wear it today I have discussion group where people sit to close and will be blinded by my lips, it will be WAY to distracting! Nope, today's not gonna work I plan on eating a burger and my lips will smear and I'll look like a bloodthirsty vamp! Ohhhh bummer, maybe tomorrow... the Bachelors on tonight. 

SERIOUSLY?

The excuses I come up with are redic! 

The real key to red lipstick is CONFIDENCE!! 

THAT my friend is the REAL unspoken language amongst red lipped ladies! 

Red lips, screams CONFIDENCE, so... if you're gonna wear it you better bring it! 

The breed I got is 

Smashbox: InfraRED

It's a blue based one so it doesn't make you look scary or your teeth look yellow, YAY!